We’ve been invited to a Baby Shower.
No, the expectant parents are not American, they are as English as can be and yet they are having this oddly-titled premature celebration in advance of the birth.
I’m not sure what I think about this transatlantic tradition which has wheedled its way onto British soil. Is it an alternative to a Christening, or in addition to?
My initial instincts were to consider the concept rather grasping and a rather diluted (and very un-British!) attempt to ask for presents for the not-yet born. However, knowing the family well, we know this is not the case and it appears to be a great excuse for a gathering of family and friends all of whom are eager to wish them well.
What are your thoughts about ‘showers’ in general, as I have recently heard of Bridal Showers over here as well? Are any of our friends in the USA able to enlighten us on the point of them?
Anyway, this is what I had already decided to make for the baby, Baby Shower or not; a simple,hard-wearing, easy-to-wash, granny square blanket in 20% wool.
It’s pram-blanket sized, so only took a few evenings to whip up. About a third of the way in, I thought it needed something to break up the pink, so added in some grey-beige matching yarn.
A pom pom border livens it up a bit and makes the granny clusters a little less utilitarian-looking.
When finished, it was crying out for a flower in the centre, but I didn’t want anything raised so searched for a flat version.
I came across this flower coaster pattern in a language I didn’t recognise but, as luck would have it, a chart was included and I was able to work solely from this.
Perfect – just what I was looking for!
The crochet flower was simply stitched into the centre with matching yarn.
And that’s it – simple!
I hope she likes it and, yes – she is having a girl:)
July 1, 2016 at 1:45 pm
Lovely colour combo. Beautiful crocheting!. I have never managed the even tension thing – my blankets always end up as 4 sided polygon😒
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July 2, 2016 at 9:38 pm
Thanks Hila, I usually block my blankets but don’t think this one needs it. Blocking helps even out any uneven tension problems though, so could be a good trick for you:)
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July 1, 2016 at 2:25 pm
Very pretty indeed. I think its bad luck to have a baby shower. It used to be considered bad luck to bringing a pram into the house before the baby. Each to their own though, it will be a nice party, enjoy.
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July 2, 2016 at 9:39 pm
I grew up with the whole ‘bad luck to celebrate before the baby is born’ thing as well, so this is a new idea to try to get my head around. Still unsure….
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July 1, 2016 at 4:51 pm
I’m used to showers, as it is tradition, here, to try and supply a starting couple (wedding or bridal shower) with everything they will need to start a life together, or to supply the future parents (baby shower) with everything they need to keep a baby alive for the first few months.
At least- that’s what it USED to be. Now- it’s an excuse to get together, play silly games, and embarrass the crap out of the mom-to-be (or bride-to-be). But I’m okay with either. I’m not okay with people having showers for their third marriage, or their fourth baby. Shouldn’t you still have some of the stuff from the previous ones?
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July 2, 2016 at 9:42 pm
I see but, in the case of a bridal or wedding shower, are you supposed to get a gift for the actual wedding as well? And why is it before the event rather than at/after – is it just the way it’s always been?
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July 3, 2016 at 12:08 am
For the U.S.- it is before, so you have everything in place for the cohabitation, or before the baby gets there. You gift once. So if you bring a gift to the shower- you don’t have to bring one to the wedding.
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July 3, 2016 at 9:12 am
Ah, that makes perfect sense, thank you!
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July 1, 2016 at 5:07 pm
I’ve never been to a baby shower (except a few when I was rather young) but I’m far too young now to be invited to any now. I love the color combo, the whole blanket is simple yet beautiful!
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July 2, 2016 at 9:43 pm
Thank you, sometimes simple is best, don’t you think? It will be my first shower, too, so I’m not sure what to expect.
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July 1, 2016 at 5:44 pm
Love the pom poms – great fun, and they do lift the whole blanket.
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July 2, 2016 at 9:44 pm
Thank you, I found the Pom Pom tutorial online and I think it adds a fancy touch to such a simple design.
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July 1, 2016 at 7:41 pm
What a lovely little blanket! Very nice!
We organized a couple of baby showers for our closest (Hungarian) friends and they were all great. I think it always depends on the crowd how good or bad it can be. As you wrote: it is a great excuse to get together with our loved ones just like any other celebration. It doesn’t have to be fancy or about the presents.
I never had my own baby shower although I wish I had at least one but no one bothered to do it for me.
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July 2, 2016 at 9:45 pm
Oh, is it something that is normally organised by someone else then? I’m glad your experiences have been good ones.
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July 4, 2016 at 7:27 pm
Oh yes, it is: usually a close friend or sister.
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July 1, 2016 at 8:25 pm
Sorry, we Americans do seem to spread our weird customs around, don’t we? I agree with Talya that showers used to be a good thing for helping young people get set up with the stuff they would need (“showering” couples with presents is the origin of the name, I believe); nowadays as folks marry later and have children later, the whole concept doesn’t make as much sense. I’ve been to a few and tend to dislike them for the silly games they make you play and the general uber-girliness of them, which is very much not my thing. I think if I were in the position of being about to be married or have a baby, I’d much prefer a loud, rowdy party with drinking and all sexes welcome. 🙂
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July 2, 2016 at 9:48 pm
I see, that makes more sense to me now, ‘showering’ with gifts. I didn’t realise games were played as well. Do men get asked to stay away then, only Mr H-L was going to come too!
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July 2, 2016 at 9:53 pm
Typically in the U.S., it’s for women only, which is one of the problems I have with the whole thing. Hopefully, that isn’t the case with the one you’re attending.
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July 1, 2016 at 10:53 pm
So beautiful! I’ve never had a baby shower but a friend has had 3!! I get having one with your first child and maybe if you have another of the opposite sex but after that your just asking for free things that you should already have.
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July 2, 2016 at 9:50 pm
I’m getting the idea now, I think, and there seems to be mixed opinion on the validity of a shower nowadays according to all the comments. Maybe a bit of an outdated concept for modern times?
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July 2, 2016 at 8:53 am
Such a beautifully made little blanket and a gift which I’m sure will get lots of use:-)
I’ve never been to or had a baby shower, though I can see, way back when, when they were first held, they would have benefited first time parents who maybe didn’t have much?! More than likely as someone close to an expectant lady, you would want to give a gift…though when born! Maybe I’m just old fashioned 😉
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July 2, 2016 at 9:52 pm
I agree – gifts are more appropriate after the event, especially as it is considered bad luck to buy things for a baby before it’s born. Silly superstition, I know, but nevertheless it kind of sticks:)
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July 2, 2016 at 10:36 pm
We definitely have the same mind set ~though, I’m very sure the mum to be will very much appreciate all your work in the beautiful little blanket, hope you enjoy the ‘baby shower’ too 🙂
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July 2, 2016 at 9:26 am
That’s gorgeous. A friend made me a crocheted baby blanket a few months ago and it’s the one item that I always get asked where it’s from.
I’ve been invited to a couple baby showers here in Scotland. I’ve declined to give a present then (one had a gift list and a rather pushy organiser had suggested a minimum limit for spending). I’m from a very medical family and we’ve always considered it wrong to give presents before baby is here safe and well.
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July 2, 2016 at 9:55 pm
Yes, the superstition that it’s bad luck to buy for a baby before it has been safely delivered sticks in my mind and is the main reason that a shower sits a little uneasily with me. I’m appalled at the pushy organiser you came across!
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July 2, 2016 at 4:44 pm
Yes, I agree with Lesley–giving a minimum dollar amount would cause me to politely decline. Registries are not a signed contract, more like a wish list. Baby showers are traditionally to give the mother enough items to get started with the baby. I say mother because showers are usually female-only and they can get silly, but who doesn’t need more silly? Family members and/or extremely close friends usually give the big-ticket items: stroller, crib, high chair, etc. Others give clothes, toys, nursery accessories, etc. I think after two children, the need for a baby shower tapers off, unless someone finds out they are having twins! Wedding registries were intended to let guests know what colors and decor style the couple likes. Yes you pick your china and flatware which you intend to have, but those choices let everyone know what you like. An no bride should throw a fit because someone went off-registry and bought something unique. Second and third weddings should not involve showers; most second brides request no gifts, but I was raised you ALWAYS give the couple a gift at a shower or at the wedding, so I still bring something small. Honestly, if I remarry, I may have a “second-hand” shower and give away some of my stuff to my friends!
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July 2, 2016 at 9:58 pm
OK, so it would appear that, whereas in the USA showers are held before the event, over here gifts are given at the wedding itself or at the first meeting of the newborn after the event. Same thing, just a different way of doing it. Mystery solved – thank you!
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July 3, 2016 at 6:07 am
I’m in the no wedding or baby shower contingent, although I’m in the US. Setting up a registry is different, it’s like letting someone peek over your shoulder as you window shop.
I try to make and have a crocheted baby blanket on hand. They are so easy to make and so appreciated. When the daughter of a friend had a premie I was able to send off a blanket right away.
Are you able to share the pompom edging pattern? I’d love to try it!
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July 3, 2016 at 9:08 am
The blanket is lovely, I really like how you did the edging and the flower in the middle is the perfect finishing touch!
In our group of friends we always throw a baby shower for anyone who is expecting. We tend to go for an afternoon tea somewhere and make it a fun, girly afternoon with a few games and take gifts for the baby (or for the Mum-to-be!) I haven’t been to any baby showers outside of my group of friends though, but for us it’s the perfect excuse to get together and spend time with the Mum-to-be before the baby arrives.
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July 3, 2016 at 10:08 pm
In my ignorance, can I ask, if one buys a present for a shower is that extra to a present when the baby arrives or instead. You can tell I’ve never been to one.
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July 3, 2016 at 10:11 pm
A couple of comments from the USA have said that it’s instead of, not in addition to. It seems that our tradition dictates giving a gift after the event, whereas “showers” are all before the event. Only one gift is the norm at either side of the Atlantic.
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July 3, 2016 at 10:24 pm
Thank you. Good to hear that, but it just seems nicer to receive a gift when the event happens, not on some random date before. And I feel tempting fate to prempt weddings or births.
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July 5, 2016 at 4:24 am
Oh the showers. My daughter is getting married soon and proclaimed she does not want one. They can be so silly, with games and nonsense. But I’m not sure if her friends will heed this desire. I think, like others of your American readers, that showers should be a one-time only thing. Most couples live together and already have what they need. Oh, and fathers are now being invited (to their chagrin I’m sure) to the baby showers.
As to this lucky baby girl, your beautiful blanket will be a most cherished gift, it is just fabulous! Sweet, simple, washable – perfection.
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July 6, 2016 at 12:05 am
That’s gorgeous, Sheila. I so admire your skills.
I found a bit of history on the subject of showers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_shower
It seems each country has a slightly different version of this.
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July 6, 2016 at 7:36 am
Thanks Alys, I’ll have a good read of that – I love to find out about the origins of different traditions.
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July 7, 2016 at 1:43 am
I do too!
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July 15, 2016 at 9:23 am
Such a lovely blanket, and present! xx
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July 27, 2016 at 4:45 pm
This is so pretty!! Wish I’d had a baby shower to be honest, literally haven’t made time to see my friends for a while, would of been nice to have that little gathering, calm before the storm!!
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August 26, 2016 at 7:59 pm
I have attended tons of baby showers in the last few years and I’ve always given something crocheted AND extra baby items. People around here don’t seem to appreciate just one thing anymore. We also give a gift at wedding showers AND money as a wedding gift. It’s very expensive to celebrate things here. Haha. Oh well though… these are the times where things matter a little more than they should!
Your blanket is beautiful! I’m trying to squeeze in some time to make a few baby gifts myself! I hope they turn out as lovely as yours.
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September 7, 2016 at 6:52 am
Beautiful!!!
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September 7, 2016 at 10:55 am
Thank you so much!
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September 9, 2016 at 12:44 pm
Beautiful blanket! Showers can seem like overkill. When brides left their parents’ home and went directly to the marital home, it was a way for close family and friends to help make sure they had everything they needed and gifts were smaller than what you would get for the wedding. My mom got a lot of dishcloths and pillowcases for hers. Baby showers are traditionally only for the first baby, too.
For mine, I requested no stupid games. My friends actually had a very clever shower idea, we got together at and drank wine and wore tiaras. My gifts were bottles of wine instead of typical presents. The baby showers help a lot since there is so much new parents need. I’ve seen a lot where parents are given diapers and wipes by each guest. Baby shower gifts frequently replace a gift when the baby is born. Christening and baptisms are typically just family where I am from.
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September 9, 2016 at 12:59 pm
That’s really helpful, thank you, and helps me to understand the whole shower thing. It’s interesting to note that more and more people are changing showers ever so slightly nowadays, too.
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October 12, 2016 at 8:59 pm
Love the blanket, being an Hispanic American baby showers is a celebration of the couple expanding their family. Traditionally how Hispanic Americans celebrate it is with food and music. Most of our baby showers the couple doesn’t say what they are having so people usually brings food. I’ve been to other non-Hispanic baby showers and they have a registry… for me that’s wrong since it’s not others people responsibility to give the child things the parents should already have.
I didn’t have a bridal shower so I can’t say anything about that. We don’t do that since our belief is if you want to get married then your first “obstacle” as a couple is to figure it out… if you can’t then maybe you shouldn’t get married…
Anywho…. love the blanket. 😉
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October 12, 2016 at 10:08 pm
Thank you – another interesting viewpoint. Thanks for the blanket love!
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October 14, 2016 at 4:57 pm
I love how your blanket turned out! I am going to borrow the flower idea. I have put them in corners before but never over the center.
Showers are just a fun gathering before an event. Normally just baby and bridal (though I have heard of people having college showers for freshmen). Bridal showers are for people who want to give the bride a gift but may not be able to make it to the wedding for what ever reason. Of course the close friends and family come to. Baby showers are held for a lot of people who don’t have a christening. It is to help get the new parents ready and give them things that you know they are going to need but they have no idea about.
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